Scars to Your Beautiful
by movienerd1174
Summary: His fingers moved to the faint scar on her temple, practically hidden by her hairline. "No matter what he did to you. No matter whatever marks he left you with, mentally or physically. You will always be the brilliant, compassionate, stubborn, beautiful woman that has been a pain in my ass for the past fifteen years." After Post-Mortem Blues (15x21)


**Hello, loves, I'm back! No matter how "complicated" Tuckson might be on the show, I can't seem to get these two out of my head. The one thing that I like about how secretive they kept the beginning of Tuckson is that we get to interpret how they actually started. This takes place after/during Post-Mortem Blues (15x21). I know it's earlier than their canon relationship but a girl can dream, right?**

* * *

Hearing solid knocks on the door to her apartment, Olivia Benson tightened the cotton robe around her body before making her way towards it. Looking through the peephole, she spied Ed Tucker shifting from one foot to the other. She took a second to try and process why an IAB lieutenant would be knocking at her door at such a late hour.

Unchaining the lock, she opened the door. "Lieutenant Tucker", she greeted with a confused look on her face. "Can I help you?"

Giving her a nervous smile, he held up the brown paper bag in his hand. "I brought a peace offering." Her eyebrows raised in surprise as she reluctantly moved aside, allowing him to enter.

Walking further into the apartment, he placed the brown bag on the kitchen counter. When he backed away, she stepped in his place and peeked into the bag. "Chinese?" She asked.

His eyes briefly scanned over her body as he scratched his eyebrow. "It seems like you haven't been eating..." He felt awkward admitting that he had noticed a change in her body but it was the truth. While her womanly curves were very much still there, they had slimmed down considerably since the whole ordeal with Lewis began.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she let out a slightly uncomfortable laugh. "Stress will do that..", she explained, her cheeks tinged red.

"I'm sorry, Sergeant, I was out of line. I'll leave you to it. Have a good night." He apologized, suddenly realizing the harsh candor of his words. He nodded before turning around and heading to the door.

Just as he was about to reach for the door handle, he heard her soft voice. "Hey", she called and he turned around. "Looks like you ordered the whole menu. I'm going to need help eating it."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he shuffled closer to her. "I didn't know what you like, so I got a little bit of everything."

She blinked a couple of times, trying to process who this man in her apartment was and what happened to the real Ed Tucker. "That's... sweet, Tucker." She said, the word sounding foreign when describing him.

He smiled shyly as he approached the counter, standing on the opposite side of her. "Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to protect." He winked, taking the white containers out of the bag.

"I was just watching the game", she said, nodding towards the living room. "Would you like a beer?"

"That'd be great."

Gathering the containers, he made his way into the living room and placed them on the coffee table. He sat back on the couch as Olivia came into sight, carrying two open beer bottles. He had never seen her like this before and he had to admit that he enjoyed it. She was in navy blue cotton shorts with the NYPD insignia on the hip, a heather gray tank top and an open thin cotton robe that flowed behind her as she walked. The shorts showed off her tanned legs and the tank top clung to her in all the right places. He bit the inside of his cheek at the feeling of budding attraction stirring inside of him.

Handing him a beer, she sat down on the opposite side of the couch, her long legs crossing in front of her. He had to hide his disappointment when she grabbed a nearby throw blanket and spread it out over her exposed legs.

Distracting himself, he leaned forward and began opening the containers. "Pick your poison." He suggested, handing her a pair of chopsticks.

Accepting the utensils, she tapped them against her chin as she surveyed her options. "I think I'll start with the veggie lo mein."

"Good choice", he smirked, handing her the container. He went for the beef and broccoli and sat back against the back of the couch. They sat their is silence for a few moments before Ed spoke up, his chopsticks poking absently as his food. "Listen, I'm sorry about being tough on you the past couple of days."

"Don't be", she responded, looking down at her food. "It's your job."

"For the record, I believe you." This made her look up at him, his blue eyes kinder than she's ever seen them. "No matter how he caught that bullet, I'm glad he did. What he did to you...", he trailed off.

She stretched her leg forward and nudged his thigh with her foot. "Hey, it's over and done with." She said, giving him a small smile. "Thank you for believing me." He gave her a small smile, gently squeezing her outstretched foot. They looked at each other for a long moment before turning their attention to the baseball game on the tv.

* * *

A couple of hours and several beers later, the game was coming to a close. Olivia was leaning forward, her elbows planted on her knees as she watched the ending intensely while chewing on her thumbnail. And Ed, he was watching her. He was leaning back against the couch, nursing his last beer, his eyes dancing as they watched her concentration on the game.

"What?!", she exclaimed as the umpire called the last out of the game. "Granderson was safe by a long shot! Right?" She asked, looking back at Ed who just smiled against the top of his beer bottle. She huffed, falling back against the couch.

Leaning forward, he put it bottle down on the coffee table amongst the others and looked back at her over his shoulder. "Don't take this the wrong way, Sergeant, but I didn't peg you for a sports fan."

Bringing a hand up, she pushed back several strands of hair that fell from her short ponytail. "I guess that's one thing Brian left me with." She sighed as she pulled her legs up onto the couch. Throughout the game they had unknowingly moved closer to each other, her toes pressing against his thigh as her legs were bent in front of her.

"Ah, Cassidy", Ed surmised, leaning back again. "If you don't mind me asking, how did all that...", He trailed off.

She paused for several seconds, her hand coming up to rub against her upper chest as she gathered her thoughts. "It was, um, too much for him. The whole Lewis situation." She explained, averting her eyes from his. He laid a comforting hand on her bare foot causing her eyes to shoot to his. The reassuring smile she saw encouraged her to continue. "He blamed himself and after a while he could barely look at me. The scars...", she practically choked on her words, motioning to her body.

Turning towards her, he placed his hands on her bare knees, his rough palms a stark contrast to her smooth skin. "Hey", he rasped. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Scars don't make you weak, they make you strong. And as for Cassidy, he must be crazy. Because I don't see how anyone could look away from you." He brought his hand to brush against her flushed cheek.

Looking into his blue eyes, she could not believe what she was seeing. Tucker, Ed Tucker was gazing into her eyes like he was staring into her soul, his thumb stroking the apple of her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes searched her face.

Suddenly feeling the weight of his gaze, she looked away towards the mess on the coffee table, breaking their eye contact. "I should really get this cleaned up."

"You had a long couple of days. You relax, I'll get it." He smiled before getting off the couch. She was surprised at the loss she felt as his hand fell from her cheek. He placed all the empty food containers into the brown paper bag and shoved it under his arm before gathering the several empty beer bottles in both of his hands.

He took his time cleaning up after dinner, placing the empty containers in the garbage while placing the ones with food in the fridge. He rinsed out the beer bottles before recycling them and wiped down the counters. Drying his hands, he looked around to make sure that the kitchen was as clean as it before he got there.

Making his way back towards the couch, he noticed that Olivia had fallen asleep. Sitting down on the coffee table, he watched her for several minutes. The way her lips formed into a pout and her eyebrows furrowed together. The way her chest heaved with her rhythmic breaths. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her but he closed his eyes against the urge.

Standing up, he gently slipped one arm under her knees and one under her back to pick her up. She settled against his body as he slowly carried her into the bedroom.

Placing her down on the bed, he made sure that she was comfortable before heading for the door. Before he could leave the room he heard her small voice. "Tucker..."

"Hmm", he responded, turning back around. The room was dark save for the glow from the street lights streaming between the curtains.

The sound of her fidgeting against her comforter filling the quiet room. "I, uh, I haven't been getting much sleep. I guess I got used to not sleeping alone. Would you...", she paused, her voice cracking. "Would you just lay next to me?"

Silence hung thick in the air. The darkness that filled the room made the ringing in his ears almost deafening. Before awkwardness had a chance to settle in, he cleared his throat. "Sure." He replied lowly, the raspiness in his voice reaching a new level.

Slowly making his way to the opposite side of the bed, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He saw faint movements in the dark as she got off her bed and made her way to the en suite bathroom, the light flipped on and the door closed. He took off the dress shirt, leaving himself in a white under shirt as he heard her moving around in the other room.

The bathroom door opened as he was taking off his belt. She stopped when she saw him, their eyes locking. He took in the sight of her, she was still in her cotton shorts and gray tank top but had since lost her robe. Suddenly feeling bare under his gaze, she broke eye contact and moved to get under the covers, purposely leaving the bathroom light on so the room was not pitch black.

Ed carefully laid down on top of the covers as he briefly glanced at her back that was facing him. He made sure not to make any sudden movements as he settled in. After a few moments, she looked back at him over her shoulder. "You can get under the covers, you know." She chuckled, lightly. He smiled shyly and moved to slip under the blankets.

Laying still on his back, his joined hands rested on his abdomen. His eyes focused on the ceiling, counting the rotations of the ceiling fan until his breathing matched the revolutions. After several moments, his eyelids became heavy and his began to succumb to his fatigue. Before completely slipping into a deep sleep, he felt the bed shake faintly. He looked over at Olivia and what he saw made his heart break.

With her back still towards him, he saw her head thrashing back and forth while her body shook. He heard her begin to murmur something and he craned his neck so he could hear her better. "Amelia", she muttered. "Look away", she breathed shakily, before another set of tremors overtook her body. She was having a nightmare about what that bastard Lewis did to her.

Despite all his effort, he could not just lay there and do nothing. Sighing heavily through his nose, he turned on his side and scooted closer to her. He looked down at her, trying to plan what to do next. Placing his arm around her waist, he pulled her to him so her back was against his chest. "It's okay, Olivia", he whispered against her ear, his hand rubbing the ribbed material covering her stomach. "You're okay, I've got you."

She jolted awake, her breaths coming out in heavy pants. A brief wave of panic washed over her as she felt as unfamiliar body pressed against hers. Ed's comforting words surrounded her causing her to get a baring on her surroundings.

"Shh, it's okay", he muttered as she attempted to steady her breathing. A chill ran down her spine at the feeling of his lips moving against the shell of her ear. He held her tightly against his firm body until their breathing synchronized.

When Olivia had completely calmed down, he went to remove his arm from around her waist before feeling her dainty hand covering his. "Tucker", she whispered to the quiet room. " _Stay_."

He nodded, his scruffy cheek scraping against the smooth skin of her neck. She laced her fingers with his, pulling his arm further around her midsection. Slipping his other arm under the pillow, he tried his best to get comfortable as the feeling of her body against his set his nerves ablaze.

For a while his body was very aware of her curves pressed against his but eventually he found comfort in the warmth of her body and slipped into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

As they fluttered open, it took a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room and realize where he was. His body quickly became aware of the feeling of Olivia's hips slowly moving back and forth against his. He knew she was most likely dreaming and he did his best to try and move his hips away from hers in fear that his growing arousal would wake her.

Feeling her hand grip his, Ed's breath caught in his throat as he felt her move it to slip under the hem of her tank top. The tips of his fingers skimmed over several raised marks on her smooth skin causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. She craned her head back until it came in contact with his shoulder, her slim neck stretching out before his face practically causing his mouth to water. A small low sound emitted from her throat, so softly that he almost couldn't tell that it was a moan. Almost.

With her hand still gripping his, she moved it down so his fingers slipped under the elastic band of her shorts and his warm breath that was puffing against her neck briefly ceased. His fingers trembled with restraint, his brain still trying to process the state of her consciousness.

The hand the was covering his moved to slip into the short gray hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer. "Tucker", she exhaled. His new proximity allowed him to see the flicker of her eyes in the darkness and it was then that he realized that she was awake and completely aware of what was happening.

"Olivia", he rasped, his voice gravel as it escaped his dry throat. "What are you doing?"

That caused to stop in her tracks.

The two stayed completely still, both too scared to be the first one to move. Several minutes passed and she grabbed his hand in an attempt to remove herself from his grasp but he continued to hold her firmly. "I- I understand if you don't want me." She stuttered, the soft words practically evaporating in the dark room.

Letting out a sigh, he nuzzled his nose against her cheek as he slipped his hand back under her tank top to rub against her stomach. "That's not it, it's just..." His voice trailed off, his reasoning suddenly not seeming as important now that he felt her warm skin under his fingertips. He turned his head to the side so his nose was buried in her soft hair, the scent intoxicating him. She gripped the hand that was ghosting along her stomach and pressed her hips back against his, finally feeling the length of his arousal press against her.

Ed groaned at the intimate contact with her backside, the feeling more delicious than he could've ever imagined. Before he could talk himself out of it, he pressed his open lips against the smooth skin of her neck causing a low moan to escape her. She brought her hand up to hold the back of his head as lips moved against her neck; sucking, licking, teasing.

"Turn over", he mumbled against her neck. He loosened his grip on her and she complied, moving to lay on her back. His eyes raked over her body, taking in her heaving chest, her flat stomach, her long legs. When his eyes found her face again, he had to hold back the groan at the sight of her teeth digging into her lower lip.

Her hand reached up to tug lightly at the fabric of his undershirt and that's all he needed. Moving to be on top of her, he settled in between her legs. She brought her hands up to trace the hard lines of his face, his blue eyes shining in the dim light emitting from the bathroom. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers as his hands pulled her legs to wrap around his waist.

Opening her mouth under his, she moaned at the feeling of his tongue against hers. He propped his forearms up on either side of her head, letting his fingers thread through her messy strands of hair. Her arms circled around his mid section, her hands clawing at the fabric of his undershirt.

Using the leverage of her legs around his waist, she pulled his hips as close as possible causing him to hiss at the wanton contact. "Liv", he hissed, his lips tearing away from hers.

Before he could speak, her hands found his face. "Don't", she panted, her fingers trembling against his lips. "Don't overthink this."

It took him a moment but he leaned forward, pressing his face to hers before nodding. Her eyes fell closed and a welcoming sigh escaped her lips at the feeling of his lips working their way from her cheek down her neck.

Her head arched back into the pillow as he kissed his way down her chest, his scruffy chin scraping along the top of her tank top. Her hands found the back of his head, holding him against her as his lips continued their assault on her cleavage.

His hands found the her of her tank top, gently snaking under it and pushing it up her torso as he felt her smooth skin. As if they had a mind of their own, her own hands reached down and clasped his wrists halting his advances. His eyes immediately shot to her face, anxiety written all over her features.

"It's not pretty...", she warned. There was a vulnerability in her voice that seemed so foreign to her normally confident tone and it made his heart ache.

Leaning forward, he nudged his nose lightly against hers. "Let me show you something." He said, kissing her lips before rising to his knees.

Reaching behind his neck, he grabbed the back of his t shirt and pulled it over his head. Olivia couldn't help the small smile that spread across her face at the way his short hair stood at attention due to the static from the cotton. That smile quickly turned to a look of lust when she saw the way his muscles rippled under his skin as he threw the garment to the side.

"I don't think you'll be able to see it", he concluded, squinting his eyes against the darkness. "But feel this." Grabbing her hand, he brought it up to his right shoulder. It took her a second but then she felt it. Among the firm muscles was a circular, raised scar. "Caught a bullet during my stint at HNT."

Moving her hand across his torso, Ed felt the abdomen muscles ripple under her feather soft touch. He stopped when they reached his left hip, her finger grazing over the discolored mark that disappeared into the waistband of his slacks. "Slashed by a junkie my third year on patrol." His hands came up to cover hers that were lingering along the firm muscles of his stomach. "Everyone has scars, Liv."

"Come here", she whispered, tugging lightly on his hand. He fell forward, his body covering her as he toyed with her hair that was spread out on the pillow.

She studied his face as he busied himself with watching the strands of curls he was twirling between his fingers. It was hard to believe that someone with such hardened features could have such a soft heart.

His fingers moved to the faint scar on her temple, practically hidden by her hairline. "No matter what he did to you. No matter whatever marks he left you with, mentally or physically. You will always be the brilliant, compassionate, stubborn, beautiful woman that has been a pain in my ass for the past fifteen years."

Despite the tears brimming in her eyes, she let out a brief chuckle which caused a bright smile to spread across his face. Stretching her neck up, she captured his lips with hers as her hands came up to hold his face.

Breaking the kiss, he pressed his forehead against her keeping his eyes closed as they breathed into each other. Her eyes drifted to the design inked into his muscular chest as it heaved against hers. Her fingers traced the dark lines that weaved into a Celtic knot against his pale skin.

His eyes fluttered open as goosebumps broke out across his skin at her feather light touch. "Some scars are voluntary." He smirked.

"I like it", she whispered, leaning forward and placing her open mouth against the design. He groaned at the wet warmth, his eyes falling closed as his hands came to thread through her hair. Her hands fumbled against the button of his dress pants as her lips continued to work from his chest to his neck.

Planting his hands on the bed, he pushed himself up so he could look down at her. Her heavy lidded eyes stared at him, her kissed bruised lip tucked between her teeth, her nimble hands slowly pushing his slacks down his thighs.

After a moment, her fingernails started impatiently digging into the small of his back in an attempt to urge him forward. A small whine escaped her threat when he didn't comply right away.

That caused him to chuckle. "Can't I take a minute process that I have a gorgeous, soon-to-be naked woman wrapped around me? Only a few thing pieces of fabric separating us?" He punctuated his last statement by pressing his hips into hers.

She looked to side as if taking a moment to contemplate her answer before replying abruptly. "No."

He couldn't help the smile that came to his face at the playful glint dancing in her eyes. It was the first time he had ever seen it and he was already falling for it. "Pain in my ass", he smirked, shaking his head slowly.

The laugh that escaped her was quickly muffled as he pressed his lips against hers. He kissed his way down her body until his face was level with the hem of her tank top. Looking up at her, he slowly slipped his hands under the fabric and taking a deep breath, she nodded giving him silent permission.

Pushing her shirt up until it was bunched under her breasts, Ed took in her appearance in the faint glow of the bathroom light. In an attempt to calm her nerves, she sucked in a deep breath causing her stomach to appear concave. "Relax", he whispered, his fingertips ghosting up her bare sides. "Breathe."

Olivia took his advice and exhaled deeply through her nose. His eyes scanned her abdomen as his fingers danced along the waistband of her shorts. Her torso was peppered with scars; a long linear one stretching from the right side of her belly button and disappearing beneath her waistband. A wire hanger. A thick three inch scar under her left breast. Most likely a key. And a dozen of small circular ones scattered all over her stomach. Definitely lit cigarettes.

He just examined her for several minutes and her chest started to heave rapidly with nerves. He was not moving, not saying anything and it was making her panic. Her trembling hands came up to her belly, in attempt to cover herself. His hands caught hers, intertwining their fingers as he brought them down to her sides. "Stop", he reassured. "You're beautiful." As if to back up his point, he pressed his lips against the scars, paying special attention to each and every one of them.

Bringing her hands to thread through his gray crew cut, her eyes fell closed at the feeling of his soft lips moving against her sensitive skin. For the first time since William Lewis broke into her apartment, she felt at ease. She felt safe. And it was all because of him, Ed Tucker.

She felt him kissing along the top of her chest, above the bunched up tank top as his hands hovered over the fabric and she lifted her arms above her head. Looking up at her, he smirked as her eyes met his and began to remove her top at her silent permission.

Looking at her newly bare chest, he noticed that there were healed slash marks just under where her bra would stop, one on each breast. Not wanting to dwell too much on her imperfections, he took one of her nipples in his mouth while he covered the other with his large palm. She let out a low moan at the sensation, her hips rising to meet his. He groaned around her breast and pressed his hips back against hers, the warmth radiating from her enveloping his arousal.

Kissing his way back up to her mouth, Ed lifted his hips at the feeling of her delicate hands pushing at his boxer briefs. He broke the kiss and looked down at her, her soulful brown eyes searing into his as her feet finished pushing his underwear down his legs. His heavy manhood pressed against her lower stomach as her lips found his ear. "Tuck... _Ed_ ", she corrected. "Please." She begged, her fingernails digging into the fleshy muscle of the top of his ass.

Rising to his knees, he took her legs from around his waist and placed them both on his right shoulder. He turned his head to the side to leave hot open mouthed kisses on her calf as he slipped her lace panties off her legs. Her hand buried itself into her hair as her legs fell on either side of him again, opening her up to him in the most intimate way.

She watched with bated breath as his eyes scanned over the expanse of her entirely bare body before they reached her face. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as he licked his own, his hands slowly up her thighs.

Grabbing his hands when they reached her hips, Olivia tugged him forward gently until his body was covering hers again. She watched his face as he looked down their bodies, his hand reaching between them to align himself with her. His eyes found hers again as he pushed forward, her mouth falling open with a breathy moan. He stayed still for several seconds, letting her get accustomed to his size but the way she was moving under him told him that she had other plans.

"Move", she breathed. "I want to feel you." That was all he needed. He moved above her, his thrust slow and deep. His mouth hovered above hers, their breaths mingling together. Her tongue peeked from between her lips as if beckoning his mouth to hers. His mouth encompassed hers without hesitation, their tongues moving against each other like their lower bodies.

Gripping the back of her knee, he lifted her leg to wrap around his lower back as he continued to thrust into her. The new angle allowed a delicious friction, causing her to gasp every time he hit a new spot within her. Her hands scraped down the muscles of his shoulders as her lips pressed against the reddened skin of his neck.

A low moan tore from his throat as her teeth scraped against his sensitive skin. The delicious sensation made his hips jolt forward causing a hiss to escape from in between her lips.

Ed's movements ceased abruptly and he looked down at her, his hand coming up to move fallen hair out of her face. "I'm sorry", he panted. "Are you okay?"

She nodded her head hurriedly, her hands pulling at his lower back as her hips rose to meet his. "I'm not made of glass." She smirked breathlessly.

"You want me to go faster, Sergeant?" He whispered, his face dangerously close to hers.

"Yes", she exhaled.

"Harder?" He asked, his eyebrow raising in a challenge.

"Yes", she mouthed. He was so close that her lips brushed his as she spoke.

Obliging her command, he reached up and gripped the headboard. "Hold on, Olivia", he murmured into her hair. She did as she was told, grabbing hold of the muscles that rippled against his back.

Using the headboard as leverage, he thrust forward into her. She cried out in pleasure every time his body collided with hers. Before long, her entire body was wrapped around his as he rammed her. Her arms around his back and her legs around his waist with her face buried in his neck.

Ed kept feeling whispers puff against his neck but the sound of the pounding headboard made it difficult for him to hear. He slowed his movements down until they were at a complete stop. Bringing his hand to hold the back of her head where it was buried in his neck, he kissed her sweat covered shoulder. "I feel...", she panted into his damp skin.

"What, Liv? What do you feel?" He asked lowly, his hand stroking her short dark hair.

Loosening her grip on him, she moved backwards so she could look into his eyes. "I feel, I feel safe with you." She managed to get out, her breathing still labored. Something shone in his eyes that she had never seen there before. Something that could be mistaken for... _love?_

With her arms and legs still wrapped around him and his hand still at the back of her neck, he inched his face closer to hers and took her bottom lip between his. Their lips moved against each others in the slowest, most sensual way.

Their lips gradually parted but their faces remained pressed against one another, her eyelashes fluttering against his cheek as she opened her eyes. "You make me feel alive again." She muttered, her lips moving against his skin.

Letting out a content sigh, he buried his face in her neck as he allowed his full weight to press her into the mattress. He did his best to kiss every exposed inch of her skin as he began to move again.

This time his motions were slow, deliberate... meaningful. His hands in her hair, her teeth sinking into his shoulder, his lips moving along the expanse of her face, their hands intertwining over her head.

Seconds turned into minute and minutes turned into hours as they connected and reconnected throughout the night. Both knowing that in the morning, the world they have both come to know will be changed forever.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this! It's not lost on me that Tucker is a little OOC in this fic, being the talkative on compared to Liv. I would like to think that he knows all the right things to say when she needs it most!**

 **Please let me know what you think!**


End file.
